Now Reading
You're invited: Support local independent journalism at's holiday shindig

From the editor

You're invited: Support local independent journalism at's holiday shindig

Double your donation & toast the season with the Sentinel's watchdogs!

PLEASE JOIN US FOR A CELEBRATION of whatever it is you/we/they celebrate this time of year — especially the 231st birthday of the Bill of Rights (Dec. 15), or the impending 13th (!) birthday of (Jan. 22).

We'd like to get together with those who contribute their time, talents, money, comments and good wishes to our project, and thank you all for your continuing support.

Most years, we hold a Sentinel "holiday shindig" down at the Shanty, with a warm bar packed with a motley collection of journalists and left-wing political activists and Tea Party stalwarts, elected officials of all stripes, small business types, a few folks with gripes, normally shy bureaucrats that we reporters pester, and ordinary readers who want to learn a bit about more about what it is we do.

That hasn't taken place the last couple years. If you don't know why, you need to read our reporting a bit more. Whether you know why or not, we've missed you a lot.

We look forward to seeing you, and raising a glass to the season and to our freedoms — especially a free press. And while you're toasting, PLEASE HELP US KEEP YOUR LOCAL NONPROFIT INDEPENDENT NEWS SITE AROUND for another year, with your TAX-DEDUCTIBLE GIFT:

And here's an important section of this annual missive: When you donate anytime during December, YOUR GIFT to support local nonprofit news will be MATCHED, dollar-for-dollar, by the special NewsMatch program.

This important initiative to strengthen selected nonprofit newsrooms is funded by a group of national foundations including the John S. and James L. Knight Foundation, Democracy Fund, Ethics and Excellence in Journalism Foundation, and others. This is a great opportunity to help us produce more of the strong accountability journalism you have come to expect from So put Pierre Omidyar's money to work here in Tucson, and help out your authentically local nonprofit news site:

Subscribe and stretch your donation over time:

$10/mo. Cub Reporter
$15/mo. Printer's Devil
$20/mo. Stringer
$40/mo. Correspondent
$50/mo. Senior Correspondent
Enter your own monthly amount (number only)

Or give a secure one-time gift with PayPal or your credit card:

$5,000 Newshound
$2,500 Trusted Source
$1,000 Copy Desk Chief
$500 Correspondent
$250 Stringer
$100 Printer's Devil
$50 Cub reporter
$25 Informed Source
$10 Dear Reader
Enter your own amount (below)

Thus: PLEASE ACCEPT with no obligation - implied, implicit, inferred, contrived or obliquely winked - our qualified non-denominational BEST WISHES for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible and responsibly socially and physically distanced, properly masked and handily scrubbed, Zoom-meeting-freeze free, tredecuple-vaxxed, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the time period generally coinciding with the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable - if any - traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all... and a fiscally successful, Maslovianly fulfilling, personally safe and universally healthy, Gannett, Lee, Gatehouse and Alden Global Vampire Fossil Media-free and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2023, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the Western Hemisphere (Mexico is thinking of changing its name, but they'd only be dropping "United States," which isn't something (isn't that something? — I just wanted to triple-down on the parentheticals here) that many have found all that confusing, unlike this Morlockian thicket of parenthetical asides) or that America ever stopped for a moment being great, not that it/we couldn't be even greater if we wanted to be and put our shoulders to the wheel while picking up each other's bootstraps, also, if your calendar only lasts another couple of days, you might want to pick up one of those promos from a tool company or something (do tool companies still put out calendars, or am I just showing my age? Come to think of it, with #MeToo and all, maybe skip that sort. Does Hotel Congress still sell those groovy calendars? I think I saw some down there in the lobby. Do calendars still exist or are we just caught in a forever repeating March 2020?), or maybe just use iCal. Google Calendar kinda sucks, doesn't it? And who uses that godless creation Outlook for that stuff? Ugh.), and without regard to the gender, sexual preference or lack thereof, ability to attract or retain interest from a member and/or members of the gender you prefer, if any, race, creed, color, age, height, weight, visual acuity, batting average, choice of Pfizer, Moderna or J&J, which arm you got your shots in, poll standing with likely 2024 Iowa caucus voters (or will Iowa even matter anymore? On to South Carolina!), desire to be appointed to the U.S. Senate or whichever other seat becomes open, or whatever political office takes your fancy enough to stomp your feet and whine on the Twitter machine that RNC attorneys aren't calling you to help overturn the election and install you in your favorite desk, possession of legal documentation beyond an obviously faked Hawaiian birth certificate (or is that Canadian? Canadien, even?), whether you've tried to make your name sound less Spanish or given yourself a Mexican nickname despite being white AF (no standing on tables at this party, please), language spoken at home, employment status, (but bring a couple of bucks for a beer, at least. Sheesh, it's a party at a bar. And tip like a grownup, really — and hey, here's another plug for you to support Tucson's only locally owned independent nonprofit news organization: I mean, you've got a job, right? Help us keep ours.), marital status, javascript library preference, adherence to a particular php coding style, physical ability, religious faith, steadfast faith in a heretofore pathetic National League baseball team, whether you always drink beer or only do so when a boring old dude who's just pretending to be Latino offers you one, experience in Linotype operation, views on the viability of Baja Arizona as a state, acceptance of the Torah, Gospels, Bhagavad Gita, Mishefa Res, Sharia, Shania or Shakira law or the lyrics of the Sidewinders' "Witchdoctor" (We don't call 'em the Sand Rubies 'round here, and man, that was a great 30th anniversary show!) as the legitimate basis for civil and/or criminal legal procedures, or choice of computer platform of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms and agree to be bound by them in perpetuity, or until Doug Ducey figures out which side of the fence he'll fall toward as he dizzily fantasizes about which office he wants to run for next — or at least picks up the phone when Donald Trump is calling, Martha McSally posts a selfie without a dog in it, Rodney Glassman shakes somebody's hand without looking over their shoulder for somebody better to talk to (and which election does that guy think he wants to lose next?), Regina Romero has a draft of a speech with just a single instance of the word "ALL" not in all-caps, the good-faith estimate of how long it would take to accurately hand-count every ballot in an Arizona election (which scientists indicate they call "the heat death of the universe"), and that Orange guy sadly posting on Falsehood Social out some even more bizarre conspiracy fantasy about how he's just the most put-upon soul in all of history and we should wipe his ass with the Constitution, and the Broadway widening project makes some real paving progress (really, just go with the "until the end of time," then — and note we didn't even conceive of the Broadway widening ever, ever, ever ending ... seriously, this clause has been in this thing for like a freaking decade now — long enough that there are about two businesses on that stretch that were there when they started ripping things up and still have their lights on. Anyway, the Rosemont Mine will probably get finished before that does. Wait, it's done? What??? Nah, get out. Are they gonna start looking at planning to finish Grant sometime in the 2060s, now? That'll be under RTA NextNextNext, right?). This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal at any time for any reason whatsoever at the sole discretion of the wisher. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law (Snowflake, Saddlebrooke, Seligman, Colorado City, Florence, or any other place where the clocks stopped 57 years ago), and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual, reasonable application of good tidings for a period not to exceed one calendar year (sigh, back to that bit again) plus one-to-three days grace period, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, and said warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is not covered by Apple Care, whatever corporate settlement that Nunchaku-boy Brnovich keeps bragging about, as if he had anything really to do with it and it didn't take filling out confusing online forms to get a $7 check, HIPAA, HIPPA, HIPPO, diFilippo, ELO, REO Speedwagon or the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. If it were, the GOP would be about to have it tossed out, which would be a real War on Christmas, wouldn't it? And why do Republicans hate Apple? If you wish to file a complaint about this wish, please do so in quadruplicate and hand it in at one of those fake "legislative hearings" that the Kalamazoo cowboy's bonkers campaign put together, and get it done before Dec. 31, using a text message or via a Facebook chat or something that's sure to get sent to congressional investigators. Don't worry, they won't tell anybody about it, or leak it to a reporter. If you want to find out who else has filed complaints, you'd better make a healthy contribution to the legal fund (and remember, donating is more than a "construct"). Any litigation arising from the issuance or performance of these holiday greetings must be filed and heard in the High Court of the North Pole. Sadly, Santa has a mixed record on sunshine laws, the tubby bastard. If any portion of this wish shall be held unenforceable in a court of law, the remaining terms of this wish shall remain in force. Come to think of it, the bits about primary voters, computer platforms and baseball teams are already null and void, so there.

Be well, all. Stay safe and healthy, and keep your noses clean (and covered!).

Come celebrate the holiday season with a few drinks, a bite to eat and lots of healthy conversation! We'll see you at the the Shanty, 401 E. 9th St., on Wedneday, Dec. 14, starting around 6 p.m.

— Dylan, Maria, Paul, Blake, Bennito, Bianca, Gene, Julie, Ted, Josh and the rest of the team

— 30 —

Top headlines

Best in Internet Exploder