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Claytoonz: The election count
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Claytoonz: The election count

Americans are impatient. I’ve been told that people in other nations can wait in line for hours patiently at amusement parks but here in the states, we do the pee-pee dance and start growling when we think we’ve been in line too long at Burger King. But we need to learn to be patient because 99 percent of the time after waiting in line, we get what we want. You’ll get that Whopper. You’ll get on the train. Your package will get in the mail and maybe even arrive at its destination. You’ll get the popcorn maybe before the trailers at the theater start. Are we there yet? No, but we will be.

We need to be patient while waiting in line to vote and we need to be patient while votes are being counted.

Sure, some states count quicker than others, but not all states are created equally when it comes to election systems. A bunch of conservatives are doing the pee-pee dance and growling about the slow count in the west.

Conservative columnist Tim Young tweeted, “Florida has the third largest population in America and had its votes counted in hours. Arizona is 14th… and still has only 70% counted… why?”

This guy is paid for his opinions and he doesn’t bother to note simple facts. And I thought it was just conservative cartoonists who never do their research, but I guess conservative columnists don’t have to either. Let’s just point out that the races in Florida weren’t as close as they are in Arizona. An opinion columnist should also have a grasp of history because when a race in Florida is close, they’re slower at counting than Arizona, and it goes all the way to the Supreme Court which then orders the state to stop counting and they declare the Republican to win the presidency. Maybe Mr. Young heard something about that.

Another conservative commentator John Cardillo wrote, “Arizona right now is why people have no trust in election integrity and even less trust in institutions.” Bullshit. You motherfuckers sent cherry-picked counters Cyber Ninja, that had zero experience counting anything, to count Maricopa County’s presidential election in 2021 and counted into April 2021. APRIL! That election was in November 2020. You guys went over every ballot with blue lights as if they were all Jackson Pollock paintings. The reason people have doubts there’s no integrity in elections is because assholes like John Cardillo spent the past two years gaslighting democracy.

These guys get their panties in a twist over the slowness in counting votes yet when the results come in, they accuse them of being fraudulent and start pulling conspiracy theories out of their asses. In 2020, Donald Trump demanded the counting in Pennsylvania, Georgia, and Arizona be halted while he was ahead. They claimed that any mail-in ballots counted after he was in the lead were fraudulent. When the final count in Georgia had him 11,779 votes behind Joe Biden, he called the Georgia secretary of state and demanded he “find” 11,780 votes for him.

It’s funny that none of these Republicans demanded the vote to be halted while Mark Kelly was in the lead in Arizona. But when Democrat Katie Hobbs took the lead for the governorship, Republicans aren’t calling for the counting to stop. And you know that if Hobbs wins, then her election-denying lying opponent, Republican goon Kari Lake, will claim the election was stolen. And why didn’t you guys demand the vote to be halted while Lauren Boebert was behind? Hmm?

These Republicans are in a rush for the votes to be counted and when they lose, they’ll claim they weren’t counted right. I think that can be classified as irony, which is another thing Republicans don’t understand.

But as The Count may say after they demand the states to speed up their counts, and then cry after they lose, “Ah-ha-ha-ha.”

Clay Jones is the 2022 recipient of the RFK Human Rights Journalism Award in Editorial Cartooning, and won a 2021 Sigma Delta Chi Award for Excellence in Journalism from the Society of Professional Journalists. He was a finalist for the Herblock Prize in 2019 and a finalist for the National Headliner Award in 2020. See more award-winning editorial cartoons from him at Claytoonz.com.

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