'Mistakes were made' — Az election fraudit fizzles, findings foil Trump fans
The so-called "audit" of Arizona's 2020 election ended with a report that landed with a moist thump on the doorsteps of Donald Trump supporters. Despite taking an extra month to squeeze out more "findings," the cadre behind the ballot review couldn't make the numbers go their way.
As it stands, the shambolic process (kinetic artifacts! bamboo ballots! blacklights! watermarks! lazy susans!) ended with a document that purports to show that Maricopa County's official ballot tally was wrong. Donald Trump actually lost by an even larger margin than the certified count. Joe Biden got even more votes than we thought — if you accept the numbers added up by the "auditors."
Er, wait, what? The Cyber Ninjas dude and MyPillow Guy couldn't put their heads together and get Trump re-inaugurated? What about the routers!? Clearly, this shows just how deep the Con5PiRaCY goes. The audit must be audited!
Excellent self-own, kids. You didn't prove what you set out to, but in a blazing display of the scientific method in action, you've certainly demonstrated something.
Roberto De Vido is a communications consultant, writer, cartoonist and jack of many trades. The former chief of Tucson Sentinel’s East Asia Bureau, he now lives in California (make of that what you will).