Claytoonz: Run, Josh, run: Hawley hauls it from Capitol mob
There’s no shame in running for your life from an angry racist mob. If you’re in the path of a mob of white nationalists with nooses easily led by the bullshit of shitweasels, you'd better run. The day after the attack on the Capitol by Trump’s goons trying to overturn an election he lost, we saw video footage of Sen. Mitt Romney running. We saw footage of Mike Pence scrambling for his life. We saw footage of House members laying down between seats in their chamber in case the angry mob broke in. When the mob broke into the Senate chamber, there wasn’t one senator hanging about to greet them. None of the people we saw in that footage are cowards. Running and hiding is what you do when an angry mob comes to kill you. Get the fuck out of there.
But….now we have video footage of a coward running for his life from the angry mob.
The most important information from last night’s live hearing of the January 6 Committee investigating Donald Trump’s insurrection was not the footage of Missouri Sen. Josh Hawley running for his life, but it was the most amusing. In fact, the audience at the hearing laughed.
That sounds kinda cruel, doesn’t it? Laughing, giggling, and taking joy in watching someone scramble for their life? Maybe, but I laughed my ass off while watching it. In fact, I retweeted videos of it to the tune of “Staying Alive” and the theme to “Chariots of Fire.” Josh Hawley running for his life on his gangly legs was hilarious. He should be mocked and ridiculed. I mean, that guy was taking about seven feet between each step. I’m mostly shocked we didn’t see him pushing old ladies and children out of his way, à la George Costanza.
The reason it’s funny to watch Josh run for his life and not the others is that Josh Hawley is a treasonous lying piece of shit. No, he doesn’t deserve to be trampled by an angry mob, but he does deserve to be ridiculed after instigating that mob.
Hell, Josh didn’t just instigate the mob with lies before the riot, he instigated them in person while he watched them bumrush the Capitol Police outside the Capitol building. He gave them a power fist while behind the security of the police, the very people the mob was attacking. Then, he relied on the Capitol Police to protect him when the mob broke into the building. We have footage of him running for his life. He was booking it. Beep-Beep! There goes Josh Hawley.
But, why didn’t Sen. Hawley hang around the Capitol? Why did he need to run? I mean, if these were the good guys breaking in just as a form of protest for election integrity, why didn’t he stay to greet them?
He could have waited in the Senate chamber and greeted them with, “Hello, racist mob. It’s a pleasure to greet you here today in the Senate chamber, even you, howling shirtless guy with the horns on your head. I am enjoying your protest and with your help, we’ll make sure the rightful winner of this election is confirmed. My, I am impressed with the way you’re urinating and defecating in the hallways. Aah, it smells like freedom. And what a catchy chant you have there. Hang who now? Yes, I do have a horse face. Thank you for noticing. Has anyone seen Ted?”
You wonder how Josh Hawley will recover from this national embarrassment. He can always ask Ted Cruz how he copes and carries on without any signs of shame or humility after being caught time and time again as a lying spineless sanctimonious weasely coward. Ah, yes…just ignore it. Fortunately for Josh, his people may not even be aware of it since Fox News didn’t show the hearing last night. They probably aired a special of Tucker giggling for an hour at Biden catching COVID.
Even after he ran for his life and hid out behind the protection of the people he encouraged the mob to attack, he returned to the Capitol after the coast was clear and continued to lie about the election. He continued to oppose and obstruct his constitutional duty.
Here’s a tip: When you goad an angry mob to attack, don’t run like Chicken Little during the assault.
Also, has the DNA of the urine and feces left in the Capitol on January 6 been checked? Maybe it wasn’t left by the angry mob and it was merely from by Josh Hawley, shitting and pissing himself while running for his life. Just a thought.
However, we do have to thank Senator Hawley for one thing. He has given us a talking point. In the future, when you hear some racist unpatriotic fucknut shitweasel MAGA goon argue that the insurrection was just a protest, you can ask them this: If it was just a protest, then why was Josh Hawley running like a little bitch?
Clay Jones is the 2022 recipient of the RFK Human Rights Journalism Award in Editorial Cartooning, and won a 2021 Sigma Delta Chi Award for Excellence in Journalism from the Society of Professional Journalists. He was a finalist for the Herblock Prize in 2019 and a finalist for the National Headliner Award in 2020. See more award-winning editorial cartoons from him at Claytoonz.com.