Claytoonz: Trump booster for DeSantis

Donald Trump is mad. Sure, he’s always mad, but this occasion is interesting.

We’ve seen Trump hate on Republicans before. He’s had horrible things to say about John McCain, George W. Bush, George H. W. Bush, Jeb Bush (he hates Bushes), Mitt Romney, Liz Cheney, Adam Kinzinger, and all Republicans who don’t kiss his ass.

During the 2016 Republican primaries, he attacked all the Republicans running against him. He said Rick Perry should have to take an IQ test to qualify for the debates. He attacked Ben Carson, insinuating he had a pathological disease that made him lose his temper and try to stab people. He called Bobby Jindal a “lightweight,” and Jindal responded by saying Trump is a “substance-free narcissist who looks like he’s got a squirrel sitting on his head.” He called Marco Rubio “Little Marco.” He gave out Lindsey Graham’s phone number at a rally. Trump called Rand Paul a “fake conservative” who is “truly weird,” and a “spoiled brat without a properly functioning brain.” He insulted Carly Fiorina’s looks by saying, “Look at that face.” He said Jeb Bush had “low energy.” He attacked the looks of Ted Cruz’s wife, suggested his father had a part in killing John F. Kennedy, and called Ted “Lyin’ Ted.”

Excluding John Kasich and Jeb Bush, most of those people Trump attacked became his ass kissers and sycophants. It’s weird. But now, instead of turning enemies into friends, Trump is about to turn a sycophant into an enemy. Trump is threatened by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.

Ron DeSantis is a horrible right-wing goon of a governor. He’s anti-mandates. He’s anti-face masks. He’s anti-science. He loves the racist dog whistles. He signed a bill live on Fox News that makes it legal to run over Black Lives Matter protesters. The racists love him. When he ran for governor, he aired ads telling assuring voters he was a huge Trumper and no one in Florida was a bigger MAGAt then he. He was even teaching his baby how to “build a wall” out of Legos in the ad. It was sick.

Trump is upset that DeSantis won’t publicly bow down before him. DeSantis is a presidential hopeful and he’ll run for the office someday. Trump is concerned it’ll be in 2024. Trump hasn’t declared yet but he wants DeSantis to declare he won’t run if Trump does.

It’s very early for this kind of stuff, but Trump is polling way ahead of DeSantis, but being the insecure baby that he is, Trump is scared.

Axios published a story saying Trump is privately telling people at Mar-a-Lago that DeSantis is “dull” and lacking in “personal charisma.” The story made its way to the Drudge Report. Before you know it, it’ll be on Fox News. It’s already on One America News Network but nobody watches that.

Trump has publicly admitted he received a booster to the coronavirus and attacked “gutless” politicians who won’t reveal their booster status. Keep in mind, Trump refused to do a public service announcement or have his vaccine injected on camera because he puts himself before the rest of the nation. While talking to One America News Network, he said, “You got to say it. Whether you had it or not, say it.” It was a swipe at DeSantis who has not “said it” and won’t say he won’t run for president if Trump runs.

During an interview on a right-wing fucknut podcast, DeSantis said he regretted not pushing back more aggressively when Trump advised Americans to stay home in the early days of the coronavirus pandemic. He didn’t mention Trump by name, but who else was president (sic) in 2020?

DeSantis then blamed Dr. Anthony Fauci for convincing Trump to lock down the nation, which is framing Trump as a baby who can’t make his own decisions.

A lot of Republicans, including DeSantis, claim the media is inventing this feud and for us not to “take the bait.” But if there is a real feud, we’ll know it soon enough because Donald Trump is not good at keeping things to himself. Personally, I’m looking forward to this and will be stocking up on popcorn.

DeSantis is Trump’s Mini-Me. I don’t know if anyone has kissed Trump’s ass more than he has, other than Mike Pence and all those Republicans I mentioned above who were Trump’s targets in 2016.

If Trump and DeSantis engage in a contest of who’s more MAGA or better for the nation, my concern is which one is worse for the nation. They’re both horrible vile human-being-type things.

Maybe Florida can’t, but America can do better than what the cult gives us.

Music Note: My player landed on Blink 182’s self-titled album while I was drawing and from there I went to “Enema of the State.”