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How bright is the future for La Placita?
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- 12:19pm — May 23, 2012
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Much like a monsoon haboob or a lengthy speech by an East Valley Republican, 2012 promises more dust-ups and hot air in the local political arena. Here’s one take on what the year holds: on wry, hold the pickle.... Read more»
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5 comments on this story
A few more predictions:
* In effort to dispel Tucson’s business-unfriendly image, Mayor Jonathan Rothschild proposes TCC be turned into Arizona’s largest indoor swap meet.
* Unable to come up with congressional and legislative districts that satisfy Arizona Republican demands that every last Democrat be wiped off the map, independent redistricting commitee throws up its hands and outsources work to Peggy from USA Prime Credit.
* Occupy movement, left with no place to occupy, moves into the Tucson Exposition Center. Barely anyone notices.
* Tucson Sports Authority flirts with idea of luring pro curling tournament to town. When that idea fails, it turns its attention to luring Linda Ronstadt back.
* Pirates take over whatever is playing on 92.9 FM, demanding that Tucson get a “real” oldies station like the one that once occupied that frequency.
* Russell Pearce mentioned as possible new judge on “American Idol.”
* State GOP left scratching its collective noggins when Clap The Wonder Seal wins Arizona’s Presidential Preference Election.
* Massive haboob hits Tucson for a change. Phonecians laugh. Right-wingers complain about the use of the word “haboob” because it comes from that “durn terror-istic lang-gu-age.”
* Jim Click announces he’s entering the commercial space business. “Hi Folks! Now’s a better time than ever to go into orbit!”
* Monsoon downpour washes away grandstand at Rillito Downs and deposits it in Marana. Debate rages over whether it’s some sort of celestial suggestion.
* Southern Arizona’s state legislative contingent introduces bills regulating the way Phoenix holds elections, renews its downtown and educates its children. When Phoenix-area lawmakers complain, the local contingent presents a rousing rendition of Ugly Kid Joe’s “I Hate Everything About You” on the house floor.
* Fatburger, Humongoburger, Superburger, Wonderburger, Cardiacburger and three other fast-food chains move into town and are greeted with lines out the door from day one.
* As the Wildcat football team struggles to come around, Arizona fans demand the U of A appoint a man as coach who is guaranteed to finally get the team to the Rose Bowl: Lute Olsen.
Happy New Year!
Here’s one…though it might take two or four years to come to fruition.
The FBI finishes it’s Rio Nuevo investigation. It indicts Romero, Scott, and Uhlich and Walkup for several criminal charges relating to the fiasco. They are all convicted on most of the charges.
Despite their being locked up in federal prison, Uhlich, Scott and Romero are still reelected to the council. In her post-conviction press conference, Romero will be quoted as saying “Ummmmm. Ahhhhhh, ummmmmmm, errrrrrrr, uhhhhhhhhhhh”.
In response to the convictions, Raul Grijalva will demand a boycott of the entire country for supporting a legal system that actually held his political puppet accountable for her actions.
When polled how they got reelected, the majority of Tucson Voters respond “What is Rio Nuevo, anyway?” and “Wow…I didn’t know you had to be a U.S. Citizen to vote. I wonder how I’ve been getting away with voting for all these years…”
Meanwhile, Walkup is sitting in his cell, talking about how his 6x9 space is the “hottest entertainment spot in the country”, and saying “My legal defense was a complete success”.
@Christopher Francis
Well played. Thanks for pitching in your two cents.
@Bret Linden
Well played. Thanks for pitching in your two cents.
:)
@Bret Linden
You don’t need to be encouraged to comment, BL ; ) But thanks for sharing with the class, as well.